One of the perks of my job in broadcasting is the chance to TV while I work. And not just one television show, Haters. I can watch three at once on the monitors mounted in the studio.
Tonight's offerings: CNN on Russia's military maneuvers in Ukraine, NY1 on Mayor Bill de Blasio's after school expansion dreams and a re-run of Modern Family's 2010 season finale, the one that had Mitchell trying to kill a pigeon with a tennis racquet.
Really, Mitchell? You're going to ruin your strings that way. Think of the feathers, stuck in the mains and crosses. And the blood. It's sure to alter your swing speed.
You should have grabbed a baseball bat, the preferred weapon of New York City cabbies and private livery car drivers. Or a hockey stick. They get blood on them all the time.